Sinister Screens

Immaculate (2024) ★★★½



Not every intervention is divine.

An American nun embarks on a new journey when she joins a remote convent in the Italian countryside. However, her warm welcome quickly turns into a living nightmare when she discovers her new home harbours a sinister secret and unspeakable horrors.


I’d be a wealthy man if I had a dime every time someone muttered a phrase like: “not sure what happened, but her hymen was perfectly intact when she devoted her life to the church.” Yes, I’d be living like a slick televangelist. Yet, I’d gladly donate it all back to a legal fund to bring down the house of cards that is modern christianity, particularly catholicism (notice lack of capitalizations here).

The real horror is the unfathomable amount of sexual abuse that has taken place within the institution itself. Pedophiles and rapists run amok in these “houses of god.” If you don’t believe me, just Google ‘church sex abuse 2023’ and read credible articles from The NY Times and The Guardian as the tip of the iceberg. It’s shocking. But then again, it’s coming from the same religion that has murdered millions under the guise of war or burned women as witches.

Ah, men!

My biggest mistake was my choice in films to catch at the theater. Strangely enough, two similar nun-related films were released within weeks. Immaculate and The First Omen. I saw the former was starring Sydney Sweeney so I chose the latter to watch at the theater, sure it would be the better of the two.

It was a horrible decision.

Sydney Sweeney kills it (literally) in this movie and I really adored the irreverent plot. It was good to see those nine-inch crucifixion nails recycled into good use! And how a single large rock would replace the cross as the new symbol of western religion.

Immaculate was more edgy, less formulaic and just a better film than The First Omen. Definitely one of my new favorite nunsploitation films. And Sydney Sweeney will be atop my scream queen watch list for any future horror movies she’s cast in.

Rating: ★★★½ (out of 5)

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